Beatrice Von Schmeckeldreck


“…The gossip concerning the chastity of Beatrice von Schmeckeldreck was a beloved pastime activity amongst ‘Dudelkopfian’ village women. Old maidens maintained she had been entangled in a fiery affair with a one-legged Schwardanian tzar. Others soundly swore to possess prime information concerning her dishonourable love for her anosmic cousin Cecil. Fingers naturally pointed to her after the awkward disappearance of the court jester.

As for Beatrice, she thought nothing of the matter. If anything, it added that distinctive allure she craved for in her daily routine…”


(The Schmeckeldreck Chronicles)



  1. arona

    im in suspence!
    whats going to happen?

  2. limi

    i am SMILING and feeling happy. you DA MAN dude. making the world, and MY world a great place to be

  3. Baron von Ritmanzopf

    It was only when the Bubonic plague hit the land that Beatrice’s dark secrets started to unveil. The young miss, who rarely mingled with the townspeople, caught a bad bout of the disease, which spread mainly amongst poor young girls. The town turned awash with hearsay after Beatrice was supposedly seen at the market square, dressed as a commoner and showing bite marks and swollen lymph glands around her neck and armpits. Zelşăč, otherwise known as “the rat-faced witch”, stated that dark forces are at play and to illustrate that point, set herself on fire at the children’s cemetery at midnight. Thankfully, the children’s cemetery was right on a lake, into which she was promptly pushed and therefore saved.

    When two poor young girls disappeared, the townspeople’s anger started to turn towards that castle on the hill…

    (The Schmeckeldreck Chronicles – expanded edition, director’s cut)

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